Becoming Confident As A Yoga Teacher
Quieting the inner voice of self-doubt and fear-driven thoughts is challenging, but it’s key to becoming a confident yoga teacher. It takes time to move from insecurity to security and cultivate this self-confidence, but what a ride into empowered embodiment.
I figured the best way to get a bird’s eye view of developing self-confidence is to step back from my life. If there ever were a case study on becoming more confident in living life, I know my story would be a great example.
As a young child, I was so insecure, shy; everything that you could think of that was about insecurity, that would have been me. Any time somebody brought a camera out to take photos, I would be the one hiding, "Please don't take my picture. I don't want my picture taken." I think I even remember crying because I was afraid of cameras. It is incredible how my life experience is now showing me my confidence. I have traveled far from that past life of extreme shyness.
The ultimate confidence is the validation that you have moved from insecurity into confidence. When life shows you how you can shift and in that life experience, you are resilient. You are sure. You are relishing in the fact that you are clear.
Twenty years ago, as an insecure young woman, feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, my decision to become a yoga teacher was intense. How did I overcome all of that insecurity? The fear of being in the spotlight? It took a lot of conscious effort.
The perfect gift I gave myself was to become a yoga teacher.
As a young teacher, I second-guessed myself and wondered how the group received my teaching style. I grew out of that. Those scattered thoughts did not serve me. I knew I wanted something else. I tried to teach with confidence.
The first hurdle that I got over, which is a big part of what the true meaning of confidence is, is that I stopped worrying about what everybody else thought. We all tend to want validation and approval. I was constantly worried about what other people wanted. What do they need from me? How am I going to make them happy? What's going to please them? What do I need to say to help them feel better, or what do they want to hear me say?
All those kinds of thoughts would get in the way of my ability to express who I was. I would let the peanut gallery run my mind, causing me to second guess anything that I would say. That does not feel good. That inner worry and turmoil, that's what causes insecurity.
I trained myself not to worry about what my class was thinking or how they were receiving. I stayed within my practice of teaching. Then that's when the shine of a class happens. I was not distracting myself into two different thought patterns. I was focused, and single-pointed into what I was doing in the present moment.
When we worry about what other people are thinking or how they are perceiving things, we lose focus. We lose alignment. My confidence grew exponentially when I shifted focus to teaching authentically, minding my own business, staying in my lane so to speak. It's when we have two split energies that cause insecurity and doubt. What do they want? What do I want?
It's moving in discord that creates an awkward moment. Hold on, stay sure footed in your ability to be inspired with action. When it's not inspired, we know it's off, completely off. You can feel it in an instant. It's like, "Oh, that wasn't right." Take a moment and regroup. Not to move forward with that awkward moment. Know that there is no happy ending to an unhappy journey.
The first step to truly be confident is to come to a place where the opinions of others do not matter. Of course it doesn't mean that you're not compassionate, thoughtful, kind and all of those attributes that make a well-rounded human being. It's now that you have let go of these attributes...
determining how your next statement is coming out just because of what you think others may want from you.
giving them something they want to hear just because you're afraid of what they might think.
trying to fit in a mold.
What was your "ah-ha" moment when you knew your confidence had grown?
The biggest "ah-ha" for me, when I knew that I had mastered my confidence was when I could go into a yoga class to teach and not get flustered by, maybe that student over in the corner who's doing something different than what I have instructed… and that's a whole other story, because now I embrace what everybody else is doing and honor the moments where students do decide to do what they need to do, because I know how good it feels.
I am not here to make a cookie-cutter yoga class for everybody. That right there is where the emotional maturity has come. You know? Letting people be who they are and recognize that they have their own agenda, and it's not mine. I mean, maybe it is for a little bit, but then they honor their own path, and I want that for them.
The next concept to grasp is to understand that outer validation is really not what we're seeking. We're wanting to find inner worth and inner value. Because everybody else has their own agenda. They too are focused on what they want. Even if you receive validation and appreciation from others, which feels good, no one can shine their light on you all the time.
We need to...
Become our own light.
Create our own spiritual sparkle.
Become enlightened from within.
It's that soulmate concept (believing that we need another soul to complete us), it really is to mate with your soul. We have to create our own nurturing environment, that mother within...because she's right here. She's not outside of me. She's right here with me celebrating my successes. She is me.
Of course, this state of alignment moves in and out. To be in confident alignment all the time is not realistic. When I do feel the inner mother, she is my nurturer and my supporter, I'm in tune. Then finding that inner guru, that inner landscape, that sense of ease and flow comes easy.
This powerful place of clarity comes with practicing yoga. It comes with breathing deeply. It comes with taking care of ourselves and honoring our time that we need to find peace and quiet.
For you it might be different. For me it's a bath. I love my Epsom salt baths, walking in nature, my garden, loving my child, all of those things bring me into that inner landscape that is surefooted. Helping me move into inspired action, the action that creates powerful results.
THE REAL QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF IS, "WHAT DO I WANT?"
Confidence comes when you know exactly what you want. Another attribute that I've discovered in myself that helps with confidence is the connection to my emotional body. I have developed awareness so that I can figure out what feels good to me.
There was a point in my life where I had no idea. I was the girl in the movie Pretty Woman, where she could not decide what she wanted to eat because everybody else (usually a man) would decide for her what she would like to eat. That was me."Well, what are you having? Oh, I'll have that." What? Come on. Go inside and figure out what you like to do, what you like to eat, what makes you tick, what are your pleasures in life. You know? Do that.
When we can trust in our inner landscape, in our inner guru and what we believe to be true for the moment, then confidence shines. The more you practice asking yourself "What do I want?" the easier it will be to figure out what it is that you really do want.
It's taken me time, and maybe because I'm now in my 50’s and it's taken me all of this time to discover and feel comfortable knowing what I do want. Comfortable in my own skin. Hopefully you'll get there quicker than I and be able to grab, honor and claim that inner confidence, which feels amazing.
Do you want to strengthen and shorten your path to your own confidence? Confidence in yourself as a person and in your practice as a yoga teacher? Join me in Level 9 Yoga where one of the pillars of the core teachings is confidence. Take the quiz to find out if you’re ready.
